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Ep#117 Pressure is optional 

January 22, 20246 min read

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Pressure. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it just part of the experience of being a business owner? Do we have a choice in the matter or should we just make peace with it and accept that feeling pressure is just part of the territory that comes with entrepreneurship.

That’s what we’re discussing today. 

We all experience pressure. Pressure can come in many different shapes and sizes and we all deal differently with pressure. Some of us seem to handle it better than others. Perhaps you are in that camp of owners that say things like “I work better under pressure.”

I used to definitely fall in that group. I loved the pressure of a deadline. I would put things off until the last minute, and then there would be that mad dash to the finish line. Completing the work just in time.

And this kind of pressure can and does help us to get things done. It forces us into action. It speeds us up and sometimes we’re even surprised at how much we got done in such a short amount of time.

The thing is…we cannot live in this kind of pressure. It’s exhausting and if we stay here too long it creates the exact opposite of what we want. It threatens everything we’ve built.

Pressure doesn’t present itself in the same way for all of us.

For some of us, pressure speeds us up and it will show up as overworking. Micromanaging or obsessively monitoring things. For some of us it slows us down and we isolate ourselves, we procrastinate and there is this sense of losing our motivation and creativity.

For some it’s a little bit of both.

The thing that triggers the pressure can be the constant client deadlines and feeling like we’re always on the back foot.

It can be the bills we need to pay, the interest rate that spiked and now suddenly that bond payment is almost double what it used to be.

It can be the pressure of work-life balance and feeling like you’re not spending enough time with your kids. 

Or the pressure of not wanting to disappoint people. The pressure of keeping it all together.

And let’s face it. Some of us are experts at keeping it all together…until we just can’t anymore.

Have you ever considered where pressure comes from?

You might be saying well duh

It’s those client deadlines. It’s the bills, it’s that work-life thing.

And sure, those things are all real and they feel like they are the reason why we have pressure but they are not the thing or things that create pressure inside of you.

Pressure is created by our thoughts.

The client deadline, the kids school thing, the supplier payments, the bond…those are all circumstances that are neutral. 

The thing that adds the pressure is our thoughts about the circumstance. 

It’s the story we’re telling ourselves about the client deadline, the bills and the whatever else that is creating pressure. More specifically we are giving meaning to the situation and ourselves. We’re saying to ourselves that if I don’t meet this deadline then it means I have failed. 

We’re saying that if I miss that soccer game or swim lesson then it means I am a bad mom.

And it’s that meaning, that story, that is creating the pressure.

Once we have this awareness we understand that pressure is optional.

Up until today you may have believed that pressure is just the name of the game. That is just life. But now you know that you have a choice. 

You have the option of telling yourself a different story. And if you’re feeling pressure you now have the option of letting it go.  

It doesn’t mean that the client deadlines aren’t there anymore. It simply means that you’re not blaming the pressure on the deadline. Because it’s not the deadline that’s creating the pressure. Now you get to question the story you’re telling yourself about the deadline. And you get to choose whether that story is helpful or not.

Let me give you an example of how our story (our thoughts) impacts how we feel:

Let’s look at the looming client deadline:

We can choose to tell ourselves: "If I don't meet this client deadline, they'll be disappointed, and I might lose their business. My reputation could be damaged, and I can't afford to let that happen. Everything depends on this."

This creates pressure. But the kind of pressure doesn't feel good. It feels overwhelming.

I can choose to tell myself a different story:

"This client deadline is an opportunity to showcase my reliability and skills. Meeting it is important and I have planned my steps and trust in my ability to deliver quality work on time. Each task is a step towards a successful outcome."

This story doesn’t slow me down. It doesn’t make me ignore the deadline and be blase about it. But it creates calm and focus.

Which one feels better? Which one do you think will help you to achieve the deadline without the frenzy? 

We can hit the deadline without feeling pressure. We can pay the bills and grow our business without the pressure. 

It all starts with the story we are choosing to focus on. And teaching ourselves to tell and believe better stories about the circumstances in our lives and businesses is a skill. It’s a muscle we need to build because we’re in the habit of telling ourselves the shitty stories that create pressure…

And every-time you feel pressure there is an opportunity for you to flex that muscle.

It’s an opportunity to choose something different.

Being a business owner is a choice. We don’t have to do this. Even though we believe we don’t have a choice. We do. There are other options…we just don’t like those options and so we choose entrepreneurship.

We get to choose whether we want to feel the pressure. 

I have created a free resource called The Pressure Protocol. And it’s a step-by-step guide you can follow to reduce the pressure you feel. To start building the habit of thinking different thoughts. Of telling yourself a new story, of giving the circumstances in your life a different meaning.

Grab your free copy right here (no opt-in required).

Thank you for tuning in today. I’ll see you next week.

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Ilonka Ras

Ilonka is a certified Strategic Intervention Coach and has a passion for helping overworked women entrepreneurs free up space and energy in their day so they have more time for the things that matter to them.

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