Ep#14 The Fat Guy, The Skinny Guy, and Taking a Break

👉Listen To The Episode Here👈

Mama! Did you know that you have multiple personalities?

Some of you may be saying…uh....YEAH! Haha. And some of you may be a bit shocked asking: "what are you on about, Ilonka?"

Before we dig into those personalities, I have a question for you.

Do you struggle with taking a break from your business?

So many of the moms I work with (myself included) struggle with taking a break and not working.

We have this need to DO something and if we’re not DOING something we feel guilty. As if we’re wasting time.

We take a break but our minds are busy and we even fill our downtime with little tasks around the house, decluttering or organising. When it’s time to get back to our business, we don’t feel rested. Can you relate?

At the time of this recording, we’re about a week away from the new year and MANY people set new years resolutions. One of them being: This year I am going to lose some weight or I am going to be healthier or some version of that, right?

When the new year starts, we’re determined. We throw out all the bad food we piled up over the festive season, we download a fitness app or sign up for that gym membership.

We start strong and within a week or two of eating healthy and exercising daily, we start seeing some results. We lost a couple of pounds! We think to ourselves…this stuff works! We get more determined and we exercise twice the next day.

But when we get on the scale the next morning to check in on our progress, we didn’t lose any weight (perhaps even gained a bit).

What the actual heck??!

We feel defeated but we brush it off and convince ourselves that we’ll do better tomorrow.

We repeat the cycle, eat clean and exercise and when we get on the scale again the next day…nothing. Our weight has remained where it was!

Suddenly we have a thought: "This doesn’t work." or "What’s the point?"

So, we go back to our old ways and we eat what we used to eat, we move less, and before we know it our commitment to our health has waned and the vision of being fit and skinny is gone…and we haven’t even hit the month of March yet.

This is the story of the fat guy and the skinny guy (one I read in Micheal Gerber's book, the E-Myth - and one that really resonated with me because I also had a fat guy and a skinny guy in my head!).

You see, whenever we want to change something like losing weight, making more money, changing anything in our life, really, we’re dealing with two opposing personalities. The fat guy, the skinny guy. The tired mom, the energetic mom, the sad mom, the happy mom.

There is a personality for where we find ourselves now, and a personality for where we want to be.

The problem is, in order for us to lose weight, the fat guy needs to go. His ways won’t work for the skinny guy. The skinny guy won’t tolerate the things the fat guy does. The skinny guy doesn’t want the cake.

The one cannot exist together with the other.

It is these two extreme opposite personalities and they won’t compromise. It makes sense because there is an exact science to losing weight. If you do certain things, like eat the right foods and move your body in the right way, you WILL lose weight.

Just as we have these two extreme opposites in the fat guy and the skinny guy, we also have them as it relates to taking breaks or resting as moms in business. We have a Holiday Carla and a Get-it-done Carla.

We already know we must take a break. That it is good for us mentally, emotionally, and physically. And yet…we still have that extreme opposite personality, Get-it-done Carla.

And she doesn’t rest. She’s always on. She’s always going.

Regardless of how tired you are, how overdue a proper break is, or whether you planned this break for months, Get-it-done Carla will still be there. In your brain. Reminding you that rest is for the weak. We’ll sleep when we’re dead.

Here’s the thing you must understand. Both the skinny guy and the fat guy WANT to serve you. The fat guy wants to make you feel comfortable, safe. The skinny guy wants to see you healthy because he understands the importance of caring for your body.

Both have good intentions. The same goes for Holiday Carla and Get-It-Done Carla. They both want to see you thrive…they just have different views of what that looks like.

And unlike the Fat guy and the Skinny guy who can’t love together…Holiday Carla and Get-it-done Carla can.

In fact, they NEED each other to function at their best.

You now know:

• When you have decided that it is time to take a break, Get-it-done Carla is going to pop up. She is going to do her best to try and convince you that rest is a bad idea. That you’re falling behind. That you need to get busy.

• Both Holiday Carla and Get-it-done Care are trying to serve you. When Holiday Carla tells you it’s time to take break she is just doing her job. When Get-it-done Carla makes her appearance, she is just doing what she knows best. Neither of them are wrong or bad.

Your job is to decide which of them get to come out today.

I am here to tell you that neither Holiday Carla or Get-it-done Carla is actually in control. You are.

You know when it’s time for Holiday Carla to come out to play or whether it’s time for Get It Done Carla to crush it.

Before listening to this episode you may have been under the impression that you were both the fat guy and the skinny guy or both holiday Carla and Get-it-done Carla.

You’re not.

You’re the one who gets to choose who comes out to play today. YOU get to choose.

Losing weight is a science. There is an exact recipe for getting fit and healthy. We know if we want the skinny guy to show up, the fat guy needs to go.

It’s not the same with Holiday Carla and Get It Done Carla. They CAN and must co-exist. But YOU need to show them how.

Living a fulfilled life isn’t an exact science. It isn’t about extreme opposites.

It’s about finding the right balance of Holiday Carla and Get-It-Done Carla that allows you to live a life where you’re growing, evolving and having fun.

So, as you’re heading into the new year and doing your planning…remember to make time for Holiday Carla and Get It Done Carla. Your business will thank you for it.

your aligned action task and takeaway

1. Take a moment to ask yourself whether you're giving Holiday Carla enough time in your calendar.

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