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Welcome back to The EffortLESS CEO Podcast! I’m your host, Ilonka, and today, we’re diving into something that every business owner faces when they set a goal: obstacles.

Now, imagine this—you’ve set a goal, maybe it’s to increase your revenue by 25% next year, and you’ve decided to introduce a new subscription model. It’s exciting, right? You’re motivated. But then, almost immediately, your brain starts serving up resistance. It says things like, “What if no one wants this?” or “Is this really worth the effort?” Sound familiar?

This is the point where a lot of us get stuck. Our brain freaks out and offers LOTS of resistance, because pursuing a goal requires change. It requires growth. And growth, to our brain, feels like danger. And then, because we don't know what to do with this resistance, we talk ourselves out of some pretty good ideas and keep ourselves from achieving our goals.

So, in this episode, we’re going to talk about how to work with your brain, instead of fighting against it so you can achieve more of what you want with less mind drama.

The obstacles between you and your goal

As a coach…I am trained in helping people reframe the obstacles, the resistance their brain is offering, and I help them take the action they need to take in order to get where they want to be. My job is to help you see what’s stopping you. To free yourself from the thoughts that don't serve you. That is keeping you from running the kind of business you want and ultimately living the kind of life you want.

We are thinking beings and what we don’t always realise is that the thoughts our brain offers us, isn’t always true. It feels very true. It feels like a fact. But it usually isn’t. Coaching helps you distinguish between thoughts and actual facts and then helps you shift your perspective so you can think in a way that serves the goals you have regardless of what the actual facts may be.

One thing I know for sure is that when you have a goal, and your brain offers you lots and lots of obstacles…your brain isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s actually just doing its job: keeping you safe. It’s wired for survival, not for taking risks.

We are biologically programmed for safety. Not growth. 

We need to actually train ourselves to see the obstacles in a different light. To not see them as a problem but as an opportunity (gosh that sounds so cliche).

If we want to achieve our goals and stop stopping ourselves out of fear or doubt, the first important shift we need to make is to stop thinking that the resistance is a sign that we shouldn’t go after the goal. If we think the obstacles or the resistance we’re coming up against is a sign that we shouldn’t do the thing, we will never strive for more. It’s that simple. Because our thoughts drive our actions. 

Thinking the resistance or obstacle is a problem we can’t overcome is literally how we think and talk ourselves out of really good ideas.

Here’s the thing. Your brain will always offer resistance, and if you wait for a time where there isn’t resistance before you take action…you will find yourself waiting a very long time.m

How many good ideas or goals have you abandoned because you simply couldn’t get yourself past the hurdles? You may not even have noticed that you were the one stopping yourself because our brains are so good at making us think that the problem is outside of us. 

This is such a subtle shift…and it has the power to profoundly change how you show up in your business and your life. How you view challenges and obstacles.

When your brain offers you resistance to an idea or a goal it isn’t cautioning you to stop.

What’s really happening here is that your brain is asking, “How do we solve this? What are we going to do here?” 

It’s not telling you to give up—it’s doing the work it has been programmed to do: it’s doing its due diligence and simply asking for a plan. 

It wants the reassurance that we are safe. We know where we’re going. We have a plan. It doesn’t even need to know the entire plan. It just needs to know that we know the general direction we’re heading into and that we know with certainty what our next step is.

We don’t need to see the entire staircase. Our brain just wants to know that we are in fact stepping onto solid ground with our next step and not off a cliff.

The "Unintentional Model"

The first thing I always ask my clients to do is to just write down all the thoughts they have about their specific goal. All the problems they can think about.

To just take a piece of paper and go to town with whatever they can think might be a problem.

This process in itself is such an eye opening experience because it shows you what is actually going on subconsciously. The thoughts and emotions that are getting in the way. 

In the coaching world we call this “unintentional thoughts or models”. 

Once they’ve gotten all their thoughts onto a piece of paper we can reframe each one into an intentional model. We can shift from…this is a problem to “here’s how we’re solving for that”.

So let’s use starting that membership or subscription service as an example: You’ve decided to launch that subscription service. Immediately, your brain offers up something like, “What if no one buys it? What if it’s too expensive?” “What software platform are we going to use? How are we going to market it? You will notice as you write your thoughts down how your brain just floods you with a hundred different problems and obstacles or negative thoughts.

One of the most common obstacles I coach on is the fear of failure. Fear of failure can present itself in so many different ways but at the root of it is a fear that we’re going to put in all this effort and it’s not going to give us the outcome we want. We’re going to do this for nothing. Or even lose something if we do.

Reframing To "Intentional Thoughts"

So, the brain offers you the thought:

“What if this doesn’t work?”

Now, instead of spinning in that fear (the unintentional model), we can reframe it by considering what our brain is actually trying to solve for: so it’s offering you: “What if this doesn’t work”…we can reframe that question to “What’s the first step I can take to validate this idea?” 

That simple reframe shifts you from fear to…possibility. It shifts you from feeling hopeless or unsure to focusing on finding a solution. And if you don’t allow your brain to answer “I don’t know” then you will come up with a list of actionable things you can do like researching your market or talking to your current clients about whether they’d be interested. 

The point is…we want to redirect ourselves from “oh this is a problem” to “here’s a small step we can take to reduce the risk. Here’s something we can do that will move us forward.”

Another common thought my clients often get coaching on is: “I don’t know if I can actually pull this off.”

Instead of letting doubt stop us, we can reframe the unintentional thought to: “What skills or resources do we need to make this happen?” Of “What would I need to pull this off”.

So the reframe is really all about asking better questions. Because as it turns out, if you ask yourself better questions, you will give yourself better answers.

Let’s run through a few more examples of how you can reframe and ask yourself better questions. Inwill start with the resistance your brain offers and then the reframe question that will shift you into the intentional model.

“What if no one buys this?” can be reframed to “Who will find the most value from this? Or “Who wants to solve this problem and are willing and capable to pay to have it solved?”

“I don’t know enough about this.”

Reframe: “What’s one thing I need to learn or who can I ask for guidance to get started?”

“What if I lose it all?”

Reframe: “What’s the worst-case scenario, and how can I prepare for it?

“This is too overwhelming. I don’t know where to begin.”

Reframe: “What’s the very first, smallest step I can take right now?”

“I don’t have the time for this.”

Reframe: “How can I prioritise this goal by removing or delegating something else on my plate?”

“This is too expensive.”

Reframe: “What is the value this will bring to my business?”

Reframing is a skill. And you will get better with practice.

The more you practise the reframe, the easier it becomes to manage the objections your mind throws at you and allow them to fuel the action you take rather than stopping you in your tracks.

If you would like me to come alongside you and be in your pocket, helping you to ask yourself better questions, book a consultation call on the link in the show notes and let’s get you moving in the right direction. 

Do you have a question on designing a business that can run smoothly with or without you?

Send me an email at ilonka@ilonkaras.com and I will answer it in the next episode.

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