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We all have a natural tendency to avoid discomfort and yet we sometimes stay in uncomfortable situations because we think that changing will be more uncomfortable. And so we stay stuck because the thing we know creates a sense of comfort…even though it is uncomfortable.

I recently coached one of my clients on hiring her first team member. She felt really overwhelmed about what to delegate, the training that needed to be done, fear of losing control over certain aspects of her business. The thought of delegating brought up all sorts of “what ifs.” And even though she logically understood that this was the right next move, she was resisting leaving this place of comfort, the known, even though it wasn’t actually comfortable at all.

I like to think of this as the known hard. It’s hard, but it’s familiar. So choosing anything else feels really scary. My client has been doing everything inside her business herself for so long that she has almost gotten used to the pain. She has become desensitised to it. 

The Neuroscience Behind It

Why do we resist change so strongly? 

The answer lies in our brain and how we process fear. When we think about stepping into the unknown, our “fight or flight” response gets activated. We feel fear, anxiety, or stress, which keeps us tethered to the known. It’s like…you know what…I am just going to stay in this dark cave because if I go out there…I am probably going to die.

Our brains are also wired to seek short-term rewards over long-term gains.

The good news is: our brains are adaptable. While stepping into the unknown feels difficult at first, our brains adjust and make new connections. The more we do something, the easier it becomes.

Think about the first time you learned to ride a bike. It was terrifying at first, but with practice, your brain rewired, and soon you weren’t thinking about balancing at all. 

The False Comfort of the Known Hard

Staying in the Known, might seem easier and less painful but it’s actually creating more pain because you’re holding yourself back from what is possible. You’re delaying what is possible even more.

In my client’s case. She could continue doing everything herself. She was used to working the extreme hours. But it put a cap on growing her business because she didn’t have more hours to give. She was also highly stressed and anxious most of the time. 

It’s harder to stay small than to grow. Yes, taking steps to break free is uncomfortable, but staying in a business that’s entirely dependent on you is the most painful place to be in the long run.

We’re going to face some form of hard whether we stay where we are or step into that next level of our growth.

Both will be hard but one will be harder in the long run.

Every time you make a bolder move toward your desires you will feel fear. Your brain is trying to protect you, but real growth requires stepping into the discomfort. 

We get to choose our hard. I prefer choosing the one that expands me, that helps me grow. That pushes the limits of what I think is possible.T

Tony Robbins famously said, “Change is inevitable. Progress is optional.” It’s up to you to make that choice.

Thanks for listening.

Do you have a question on designing a business that can run smoothly with or without you?

Send me an email at ilonka@ilonkaras.com and I will answer it in the next episode.

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