Ep#30 Self Sabotaging? How to stop

👉Listen To The Episode Here👈

Have you ever wondered why you self-sabotage? We have a desire or a goal. Something we want to achieve or manifest and there is an obvious gap between where we are and where we want to be. This is often referred to as the happiness gap because we think we'll be happier once we have it.

In this episode of the Mom Aligned Podcast I share why we self-sabotage and how you can stop doing it and finally achieve the goals you desire.

What we've been taught by society about reaching those desires is upside down. We have to feel the way we think we'll feel when we reach the goal FIRST before we can actually achieve it.

If you do it the other way around, like most people do, you’ll be taking the path of most resistance and will need to work much harder to get there.

When we're not fully living and showing up as the person who has already achieved the goal, we almost always find a way to self-sabotage our success.

WHY do we do this?

We all have a zone of comfort. Think of it like your own internal thermostat. You're comfortable at a certain temperature. When the temperature goes down you take action to warm yourself up to the default temperature. When you're too hot, you open a window or switch on the aircon to cool yourself down.

We have a default setting and whenever we move beyond or away from the default, our brain freaks out and we start doing things to bring ourselves back to the default setting on our thermostat.

When we have a desire, the temperature at that desire or goal is different to what it is now.

My husband climbed Kilimanjaro a couple of years ago and he wanted to reach the summit, it being more than 19000 feet in the air, it was obvious that the temperature would be different at the top than what it was on ground level. So they had to acclimate to the colder temperature as they ascended so that they could get used to it and not get sick and die.

The same is true for our desires. If we were already operating at the temperature of our desire, we would have it, we would be at the summit. What we’re not taught about our goals is that everything we want works according to the same Universal laws. Everything vibrates, everything is frequency and if your frequency matches that which you desire you will have it. That is the way the Universe works.

If you are not embodying that frequency, if your thermostat has not been recalibrated so that your desire’s frequency is the new default, then your brain will freak out when you get there and do everything it knows possible to get you back to the default.

So what does this look like in real life?
Say you have a goal to double your income. If you want to go from 100k to 200k you have to do two things:

1. Embodiment - You have to be the woman who makes 200k.

2. Support - You must create the support structures now so that you can be prepared for when you achieve the goal or reach the desire. (Be sure to tune in to episode #28 Are you prepared to go deeper on this topic)

If you don't. Your old conditioning will kick in. You’ll find ways to sabotage your success.

Things like procrastinating, thinking you don’t deserve where you are, telling yourself that you have no idea how you got here and that your success was just a fluke.

And instead of making this your new normal, you’ll be fighting hard to keep up with it..

Everything you want starts with BEING first.

This is the work we focus on when you coach with me. I have two coaching spots opening soon so if you're feeling the desire to step into that fullest version of who you want to be as a mom and entrepreneur then head over to my website and let's strategize about how we can get you to where you want to be in the next 6 months.

upcoming live classes

To join a weekly live class and get the skills and coaching you need to get to your next level, click here.

connect with me

Instagram

Facebook

TikTok

LOVE THE MOM ALIGNED PODCAST?

Okay, friend! I'm gonna give it to you straight, 'cause you know that's what I'm all about. Podcast reviews are super important to Apple Podcasts and the more reviews the show receives the more likely it is that we'll be rewarded with better reach. We want to reach more fierce female entrepreneurs who can add extreme value to our amazing tribe. Help a sister, out?

We already love you, for real, but we’d be extremely grateful if you would review on iTunes! If you've loved this podcast, never miss another one! All you have to do is SUBSCRIBE to the Mom Aligned Podcast on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.