Ep#45 How to say no without hurting their feelings

👉Listen To The Episode Here👈

I recently did a 30-day time series where I gave you a tip every day to optimize your time, do less, and find a balance between business and motherhood. On day 24 I shared 4 ways of saying NO gracefully and I received so much feedback from that one specifically that I thought I would record an episode about it.

We don’t like saying no. We think we’re being rude if we do.

And I am guessing if you’re a human on this planet you’ve probably said yes to things that you knew the moment you said yes it should actually be a no!

We get ourselves into situations where we overcommit, overextend, and burn ourselves out because we are deathly afraid of saying no!

And when we don’t have the awareness or don’t question our beliefs around saying no and what it means to say no, we might even think that it isn’t OUR problem. That there is something wrong with the other person for asking! It’s on them!

It isn’t.

Firstly, you can’t control anyone's behavior or what they think is a reasonable request. You can only control what YOU think and feel and do at the moment.

We also have this weird belief that we must explain ourselves when we don’t agree or want to say no.

Like we need to justify the no.

If you are serious about living a fulfilled life, if you are serious about doing less, or having more time to spend on the things that matter to you, you have to learn to say NO!!

If the thought of saying no to someone gives you anxiety then I want you to come closer and listen!

The only reason why you're not saying the no you know you want to say…is because you think you won’t be liked if you say no.

Saying no taps into the primitive part of our brain that freaks out when there is even the slightest chance that we could be cast out of the village into the wild and die of hunger or get eaten by a lion.

We also believe that if we say no, we have the ability to hurt someone’s feelings. You don’t. They feel how they feel because of the meaning THEY attach to your NO. Not because you said no.

We’re also very uncomfortable with silence, I have found. So when we say no, we often go into explaining mode because we don’t like the awkward silence between saying no and giving the other person a chance to process.

We’re not willing to feel the uncomfortable feeling.

But this is your takeaway today.

You are going to have discomfort. When you say no, it will be uncomfortable. When you say yes but you know you should say no, there will also be discomfort!

SO CHOOSE the discomfort.

I personally would rather take the discomfort knowing that I am making the best decision for myself at the moment by saying no, rather than taking the discomfort in the future (which let’s face it…the discomfort will be more) by not saying no.

Head over to my TikTok account or Instagram and go watch the 30 days series. Day 28 gives you 4 ways to say no gracefully.

But listen. Some people won’t be okay with your NO regardless of how nicely you say it. Also, saying the actual word NO is still graceful. I have no idea when we decided that no is some sort of curse word.

My challenge to you is to say NO this week! Practice saying it! Your future self will thank you for it!

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