Ep#09 What to do when fear holds you back.

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Fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of feeling embarrassed...the list can go on and on! How often do you not take the action you know you need to take because you're afraid?

I recently read an article on the subject of fear and how we actually only have two fears that are innate to all humans.

• The fear of falling.

• The fear of loud noises.

All other fears are learned. We learn to be fearful in so many ways! We can learn fear through our experiences and in situations of trauma, when we see others get hurt or judged, or when we take a leap of faith and we fall flat on our face. Our brain makes a note of these instances and does it's best to keep us from feeling that way again!

Sometimes, our fears are legitimate - like walking down the street when someone tries to kidnap us or hurt us in some way, being chased by a bear, or in any situation where we need to worry about our survival.

More often though, our fears are not on the "life-or-death" side of the scale. It is simply our brain painting a very grimm picture of what could happen.

So why do we worry, get anxious, or feel fearful if it isn’t life or death. And more importantly, what can we do so that our fear fuels us instead of holding us back?

"My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened." - Michel de Montaigne

Interestingly, 85% of what we worry or feel anxious (or fearful) about never actually materialises. Which means that we create a lot of anxiety, stress, and drama within ourselves over things that might not even (and probably won't) ever happen!

And although we know that our fears aren't necessarily logical, they do still feel very real and in many cases they can hold us back! Typically, when we feel worried, anxious, or fearful, our knee-jerk reaction is to "make-it-go-away". We don't want to feel this way, so we try to push it down or ignore it. But when we try to dismiss our fears it typically just gets worse.

What we resist persists.

The way through the "negative" emotion is not to resist it. It is to accept it. To acknowledge it, because it is a very normal part of being human, When we understand that our anxiety, worries, and fearful thoughts all stem from a place of a deep need to be protected, we can look at them from a different perspective (and perhaps even get some insights and guidance on problems that seem much larger than ourselves).

I have listed 5 steps you can take to let your fear fuel you instead of allowing it to hold you back.

your aligned action task and takeaway

1. When you notice you’re anxious or worried or fearful, take a breath. When we’re worried and we get into our head we tend to breathe shallow and this just heightens the feeling of not being in control.

2. Acknowledge how you feel. Everyone worries, everyone experiences some form of anxiety at some point in their life. What you’re feeling is normal. Notice where you feel it.

3. Question it. What does it want to tell you? What does it want you to know?

4. Thank it for trying to protect you or teach you. Shift your attention to what you want.

5. Take action.

If you want to learn more about living an aligned life, I invite you to check out the Mom Aligned Collective. Doors to the membership are opening soon! Join the waitlist here.

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