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On a recent coaching call, my client shared how she was avoiding a difficult conversation with an employee. She felt like this employee was a key person in her business and that if she upset this person and they left then she would be thrown in the deep end. She would need to find someone else…that would take time, she would need to train them, that would be expensive and also take time. 

So she was allowing this person to do things inside the business that she really wasn’t okay with but she didn’t want to say that this isn’t okay.

When I asked her why she said that she didn’t want to rock the boat.

Having the conversation would be uncomfortable.

If this person left it would be super uncomfortable.

And she was afraid of this discomfort. She was avoiding it altogether.

My coaching to her was that she was already uncomfortable. She just didn’t realise it. She thought she was avoiding discomfort…the possibility of this person being so upset that they would leave and she would need to replace that skill inside the business…

But she didn’t realise the extreme discomfort she was actually currently in. In her mind not saying anything was comfortable.

It was anything but! 

It created lots of anxiety. Tension in the relationship. And that wasn’t comfortable.

And I thought this would be perfect for the podcast because we’re all wired for comfort.

Our brain is programmed to keep us safe.

This is a good thing! We want to stay alive. We want to have a safety alarm that goes off when we aren’t safe.

We don’t realise how our brains and even the people around us can keep us in our comfort zone. 

If I think about my husband, my family, my friends. They will always sympathise with me. When I complain to them about things they will mostly agree with me. Not always. They will sympathise and make me feel heard and like they get it. The thing is, we’re all so used to everyone who cares, sympathising with and often even entertaining where we are.

And this is nice of course. We need people who have our back and who understands and empathises with where we are and what we're going through.

But if we’re not putting ourselves in conversations, rooms and situations that actually push us out of our comfort zones we will just stay there. We will keep doing what is familiar and safe.

We will talk ourselves out of our ideas and dreams because those things just feel too scary. And even if we do manage to get ourselves moving…we can’t see our own blindspots. We’re not always aware of the subtle ways we revert back and keep ourselves safe.

This made me think about something my coach said: She said that your brain is like a coach who is an expert in keeping you comfortable. 

There is value in staying comfortable. Staying safe.

AND there is also value in getting uncomfortable.

Coaching definitely isn’t comfortable.

Where my husband will always take my side and sympathise with me, my coach will not. She is always on the side of what’s possible for me. My dreams and desire and the life that is absolutely in reach. She doesn’t sympathise with me. She doesn’t sympathise with the problems I have that seem impossible in my brain to overcome. She’s on the other side of it. She says…yes…this is a problem…now let’s find a solution.

The thing is, we think that going after our goals, building our businesses, and everything that is happening in between is uncomfortable. But…I would like to invite you to consider that not going after the goal, not growing your business, not working towards something (even if you do fail) is infinitely more uncomfortable. Going after your dreams, doing the scary things, not having any idea what you’re doing or how you’re going to get to that dream…that’s exhilarating. If you compare it to staying stagnant…not having purpose, or not going after something that excites you. That is actually way more uncomfortable than stepping into the unknown. 

I want you to really question the value of getting uncomfortable. What value is there for you in your business, in your personal life, in the people whose lives you touch, if you embrace discomfort. 

Consider where you are right now. Consider your business. Where are you either avoiding or prolonging discomfort? And what is the value that you will receive when you choose to get uncomfortable?

You can watch this weeks podcast video HERE

Thanks for listening. See you next week!

Want to work smarter and not harder in your business?

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