EP# 103 Why Networking Events Suck

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Let’s talk about Networking for business. Many business owners go to networking events but they don’t sign any clients. Most of them don’t like going to these events because they can be super awkward. We have to talk about our businesses and we have to be interesting, and confident, and it can feel like a lot of pressure! Because we’re meeting people for the first time and we have lots of thoughts and internal drama about interacting with these people.

I want to talk about the intention behind networking events and what the purpose of them actually is so that you can gain the most from these events and also not experience them as this awkward piece of building your business.

You might think that the purpose of going to networking events is to get clients. It’s not. You might say, okay it’s about building relationships. It’s not. Because when you think about building relationships at networking events you’re still viewing it as a way of getting clients for your business.

Clients is actually just the bonus when you do networking events.

You might be asking…what is the purpose then? Why am I putting myself through this if the purpose is not to get clients?

Before we get into what the real purpose is of going to these networking events, let’s play out this scenario first:

Imagine you’re hosting a Christmas lunch. You have your family and closest friends there. Everyone is really feeling the Christmas spirit. Laughing, eating way too much food. Music’s playing in the background. And in the middle of lunch you stand up and klink on your champagne glass to get everyone’s attention and when the room is quiet and everyone is staring at you with anticipation you whip out your Herbalife products and you’re like: I need to tell you about these amazing products and you absolutely have to buy it right now so that you can get 25% discount on your first order. 

How weird would that be? 

No one is there to buy anything. They are there to enjoy time with you and be joyous. Everyone would be so uncomfortable, right?!! 

This actually happened to us. A friend invited us for dinner and then after dinner we went to the living room because they wanted to show us something and then they started playing this presentation on their tv about these health supplement powder stuff that has all these amazing benefits. And they even added “oh we added it to the food and you probably didn’t even taste it. Like it actually tastes nice and it’s so good for you and if you buy a ten pack today you get this much discount and you know…health is everything so this is really important and you should buy this now.

It felt so weird. I feel so bad for them but also so uncomfortable because I wasn’t there to buy anything. They put the health supplement on our dinner - without us even knowing!

The same happens at networking events! People get very weird at these events and there is this desperation in the air and everyone feels it. 

I am going to tell you something about networking events that you may never have heard before or even think of. And once you accept this networking events will never be the same again in the best way possible and you will be able to relax and take the pressure off and actually show up as a real human AND use these events to grow your business in a way you never even considered.

Are you ready?

No one at a networking event is there to buy something. EVERYONE is there to sell something. NO ONE is there to buy anything.

You can see the problem here. Now you also understand why you and everyone around you has their guard up. Why there is a subtle resistance in the room.

If everyone is trying to sell something, yet no one is there to buy…it makes sense why we have these awkward conversations and disconnect. It’s a bunch of people asking questions to see who their ideal person is so that they can sell them on why they need to work with them. Why their business is so amazing and different and the best thing since airfryers.

The result is a room full of elevator pitches but no clients for your business. The result is people pretending to connect but as soon as they realise this person, this human in front of me is not my ideal client, they won’t buy from me, they disengage. They close off again and there is a rush to get the conversation done so they can move on to the next target. And the sad thing is you walk out there and you feel like crap because you think YOU aren’t good enough or your offer isn’t good enough or there is just so much competition and it’s just too hard to out there. Competition is tough, building a business is hard.

This energy that we so often find at networking events comes from one thought:

I have to find clients here. Or I am going to find clients here.

The intention of going to networking events is not to get clients! 

It’s about being the person you want to be as a business owner. Every networking event is an opportunity to show up as the person you want to be. As the entrepreneur, CEO you want to be known as. Showing up confidently as the business owner you want your clients and potential clients to see. To be that person takes practice. These events are where you practice. The good news is...no one will see you practicing because they are focused on selling! They are focused on finding clients. This gives you the opportunity to build your identity as a business owner. And the better you get, the more you step into that identity and the woman entrepreneur you want to be…the more they will notice you. The more they will feel attracted to you and WANT to engage with you and find out what your secret is.

So let’s dig in to the specifics. What you need to do at these events and how to practice being the entrepreneur you want to be.

Imagine you have a fully booked business. You don’t have capacity for more clients. And you have a waitlist of people who want to work with you.

How does that feel? It’s this energy that I want you to take with you to Networking events.

Why? Because you are going with an energy of sufficiency. I don’t need anything from you. I don’t want anything from you.

When we are in sufficiency our focus is not on ourselves. It’s on service. Serving others. Service is how you create comfort, safety for those around your. Comfort is what gets people buying. When people trust you, when they feel comfortable around you. Their guards are down. They open to you and they move themselves towards becoming a client. And even if they are not your ideal client, their experience of you is one they will remember and when a friend or someone says they need help…they will remember you and tell them about you.

When you’re in this energy of sufficiency. A fully booked business. There is no pressure. It opens space to just play and experiment. With who you are, how you show up, what you say when people speak to you and more importantly HOW you listen and respond.

It’s hard to hear people when everyone is focused on what they can get. When we truly listen, not to respond or give the perfect answer, but just because we are genuinely curios, the energy shifts. There is nothing more refreshing than talking to someone who is genuinely interested in what you have to say. Who talks to you about the stuff you care about.

Dale Carnegie says in his book “How to win friends and influence people: “The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”

When you get into the energy of sufficiency. And you approach every networking event as an opportunity to practice who you will be when your business is fully booked..that’s when you will stand out in every room you walk in to. 

I want to offer you a two thoughts you can try on when going to networking events that will help you get into that sufficiency.

Clients can come from anywhere.

I love this thought because it releases the pressure to sell. It opens space for me to just be with whomever is in front of me. To really get interested. To speak about my business from a place that feels like a casual conversation between two humans. And to also be okay if we don’t speak about my business because the purpose is not to sell. It’s to connect. To listen. To serve. 

Sometimes serving can be sharing a resource, introducing them to someone else, serving can also just be…being present. Even if I connect with only one person genuinely, even if that person will never buy from me. I don’t know who they know. There is a possibility that they could send clients to me at any time.

This is an opportunity for me to practice being me at my goal.

I get to practice very valuable skills.

Listening.

Being present.

Serving.

Saying what I can help with in a way that is relevant to the person in front of me.

I can just play, have fun. BE the person I want to be.

Clients don’t come when we’re in scarcity or needy energy. We’re actually pushing them away. We’re creating disconnect. 

When you use networking events to practice BEING the woman who already is successful. Who is confident. Who has everything she needs and who really genuinely cares about the people she meets and who WANTS to service. The more you practice, eventually you will BE that woman and clients will come as a result of that. 

I hope you found this valuable and that this helps you to think and feel differently about networking for business. If you have service-based entrepreneur friends who you know goes to networking events and they need to hear this…share this episode with them.

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