Ep #79 Separating the facts from your story about money

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Welcome to episode 79 of the Mom Aligned Podcast!

Let’s look at three common money beliefs and the three questions that will help you shift these beliefs and create more abundance in your life.

The three beliefs we are looking at today is:

“I am not good with money.”

“It’s hard to make money.”

“Wanting more money is selfish, greedy, or wrong.”

A belief has two sides.

There is the practical side, where we need a certain skill, resource, the strategy. This is the side where in order to be good with money, as an example, you need to know certain things, and you need to take action on that knowledge. There is a real factor of skill that might be missing.

In order to release limiting beliefs around money we must also be honest about whether we are missing a practical component. If we have weeds in our garden, trying to convince ourselves that they are not there will only create a garden full of weeds. We need to be truthful about them and just go and pull them out, so if you need to up your skills about managing your money then that is something you must give attention to.

The part I want to discuss today is when we distort the truth. When we convince ourselves that something is true and it keeps us from living the life and having the business we want.

This is the second side of a belief. The psychology component where we need to have a certain mindset to go out and do the thing.

We are living in the information age. Strategy is everywhere. We can go to YouTube and quickly learn how to do something.

The information is readily available. It has never been this easy to learn something new or to figure out how to do something.

We really don’t have an excuse to learn something, or to get the skill we need if that is what is needed in any given situation.

However, you’ve have probably noticed that even though all this information is available, you’re still not getting to the goal. You’re still struggling with creating the outcome you desire. You still believe you’re not good with money.

This is happening because knowing what to do doesn’t take into account the stories we have about actually doing what we know we need to do.

We have the info and if you’re like me you are very good at learning through theory, with information.

The real learning however happens in application. When we actually take the information we have and DO something with it.

There are two reasons why we don’t do what we know we should do:

Firstly, we have a brain and it’s wired for comfort. We definitely won’t feel like doing what we know we need to do when the time comes to do it.

Secondly, there is a mindset component and we have many stories about the thing we need to do, that we are attached to.

When we are stuck in a story, we might have all the information, but we cannot see the way through to the other side. The problem is we are so attached to our story that we cannot see the solution that is right in front of us.

Brain science proves that when we are stressed we cannot think strategically in the same way as when we are calm and the worse thing you can do is tell yourself that you are imaging things. The stress isn’t coming out of thin air.

It’s coming from your story about your finances. Your story about money. 

Our story is what affects how we feel about money, how we behave and act with money. And this affects how much we have or don’t have.

The belief you are holding right now might feel like truth. You probably also have a lot of evidence to support it. If you believe it’s hard to make money you probably have tried many things but it’s not working and it feels like a constant struggle.

If you believe you’re not good with money most months have more month left than money. 

One thing we do when we are in this worry and stress mode, is we go on this rampage for more information. We think we are missing something.

The first thing you must understand is that if something is causing you stress right now, there is a story behind the stress. And if you can discover what that story is, that’s when you can break free from the hold it has on you and the outcomes you want to create.

So, look for your symptoms. Look for the challenging areas in your life. Here’s an example:

• You spend more than you make.

• You pay your bills late.

• You don’t stick with a budget or you don’t have one at all.

• You avoid having money conversations.

These are all symptoms of the story:

“I am not good with money.”

The fastest way to change your story is to question it.

Questioning our story is like shining a light onto it. Brining it out of the darkness and looking at it with a clear mind.

It’s like switching the light on in a room where you’ve spent hours searching for a pin in the dark. You don’t need to release your story. When we question it it releases us.

The first step is to know what your story is.

You can find it by looking at any area in your life and business that is causing you stress, worry, anxiety.

If you didn’t have a disempowering story in that area you would not be stressed, worried, or anxious.

This is where you need to be honest with yourself and say it like it is. Your thoughts about where you are, your thoughts about why this is not working, or why you are worried IS the story you have about the situation.

Once you know what your story is you must answer these 3 questions:

Q1. Who would you be without your story?

If you didn’t believe the story “I am not good with money” Who would you be?

Feel calm around money and dealing with money situations. Would have an attitude of “I can figure this out”

Q2. If this story did not exist inside your mind. If you couldn’t think it. How would you show up to your finances? What actions would you take?

You would solve for the things that aren’t working without making it mean something about you.

Oh, I notice I always pay my bills late. Let’s set up recurring payments or reminders so that it happens on time.

If you’re clinging to the story you won’t take the action that is needed to solve the issue.

Q3. What evidence can I find that pokes holes in it. In others. And in my own life.

Can you find evidence where the story isn’t true. Can you find areas or moments where you were or are good with your money.

Maybe you are saving for retirement. So there is a component there where you are actually very responsible and good with your money.

All or nothing thinking. We can’t look at one situation and make that mean something about the whole of who we are. It’s just not accurate.

If you have the story or the belief that you’re not good with money. Can you find proof in your own lofe where you have been good with it? 

Your work is now to create more evidence. 

The best way to change your story is to question it, and then change it by creating evidence of the opposite.

If you are ready to unravel your beliefs around time and money, I want to invite you to book a discovery call with me to chat about the Widely aligned sessions. 6 Month coaching container where we will debunk all your limiting beliefs so that you can take action in your life and business and create the results you want with more ease.

Book a discovery session here.

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